The sweet spot

If you're lucky, that's where you start: a spot close to the center. A spot reserved by a mom, a dad, a family member. A spot whose position determines the speed at which you are attended to if you're hungry, or sick or are in need of laundry money.

Then, as you grow up, you start your own circle of people and things that are dear to you. They get that spot close to your center. To make room for them, some things inevitably are edged away. A well-worn childhood blanket. Your first best friend. Family. They are still within the perimeters of your attention but often times, just barely.

The growing continues.

At some point, someone will take you in, into the circumference of their circle of first thoughts and priorities. You work your way in, through the protective barricades of family, the viscosity of childhood baggage, the resilience of habit and norm.

Some days it feels like you're gliding through as you catch a ride on a slipstream. Others, it feels like you're in the constant wake of a ride you can never get ahead, never get on.

But you keep at it.  All to get to that spot, close to the center, where you once were or hoped often to be. That spot that gives you the permission to finally rest your head and know that you are within the tight perimeter of what matters most.

That is what love is about -- being in the center, against all odds, of another's complicated, full, distracting existence. Everyday, you seek this pilgrimage toward that Center, and everyday you fight in your mind, how not to lose ground, how not to be edged out.

For it is within this spot -- this confine -- ironically, that love liberates. Without a microsecond of a doubt, when you have gained the rights to this prime real estate, you'll see that no matter how far you may choose to venture out, that spot is yours.

This is your sweet spot.

Brotherly love

I just came back from a trip 15,000 miles from home to celebrate the union of my brother and his wife. Here are the words I dedicated to him during the festivities.
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For many of you who do not know, I am the other sister -- the one who lives in the U.S. and the one who was the youngest in the family for seven glorious years until you came along.

My 'baby' brother.

You were the brother we brought up -- we watched after you, we picked you up when you cried, we held you back when you went too far. You were also the younger brother we didn't always have room for. Remember my 16th birthday party? You were nine and you kept turning down the dance music because it was just too loud for you. Look how things have changed. Then, there was the time when you would stand infront of the TV when your sister and I were trying to watch the Donny and Marie Show because you wanted to watch something else.

But you weren't always in the way. Remember the time when the three of us stood on our coffee table and used it as a platform to 'dive?' Two of us were old enough to know better ... well, at least ONE of us should have been. We did a few spectacular 'dives' off the table/diving platform but of course it was only fun until something breaks. We ended up popping the top of the table under our weight -- the big centerpiece of the living room -- but your sister and I fixed it before mama and abah got home that day and I don't think they ever found out.

You might have heard us jokingly refer to you as the 'unexpected surprise' of the family -- coming seven years after me, and 10 after your sister. Almost like a question mark. But, the truth of the matter is -- you are like that second parenthesis in this family. Mama and abah started this family more than half a century ago and put in place the first parenthesis. They were the first 'arm' and under its wraps, they had your sister, me and with it, all the colorful, rich moments that we've had together.

You are that other arm that completes this embrace. You, my brother, complete the family. You are the brother with the mischevious, loving, well-intentioned ways -- even if it's sometimes in your unconventional style. You brought a certain element of balance into the family; more importantly, you brought into the family your beautiful bride -- a girl as lovely inside as she is on the outside. And, tonight, you've given us all a reason to pause our lives just long enough to rejoice in the celebration of love in your life and in ours as well.

I am so proud of being your sister and I am incredibly happy you've found the person to share the rest of your charmed life with. I know Mama is looking down on this very joyous occasion and she is absolutely beaming with pride.

I love you and I wish you and your bride all the best a sister can ever wish her younger brother.