Day 19: Remembering

I saw the tree today. You can tell it's a recent addition to the park -- the single young tree on the grassy clearing, half way into the park. The heady scent from the roses, the clearest of blue skies, the summer heat -- warming up just the way she'd like it. It was a perfectly, beautiful moment.

It wasn't sadness I felt; more a fondness for her presence when she was still alive. I picked at the grass around the plaque at the foot of the tree, trimming the stray blade or two that covered the words we had left for her. As I knelt down, a strange flashback of having done the same thing crossed through my mind -- me bending over my mother's grave, picking up dried leaves off the ground above her.

I had gifted a Reiki session with a master that week for my friend, in hopes that she would find even an hour's worth of relief. Maybe she did. An hour of peace and stillness within. But, it just wasn't soon enough for her.

Three years ago this month, I lost a friend whose life ended unexpectedly and needlessly. I still misplace minutes, thinking about the choices that led to her final decision. She was a spirit so strong and so respectful of life. She shared much about herself and what she was going through but gave no momentous indications of giving in, of giving up, of letting go.

And then, she left.

You are missed, my friend.