A list

20 years ago, I made a list.

It was a listing of 'Things I want to do when I'm in the U.S.' Somehow, there was a knowing that one day I was going to get a chance to, first, actually be in the U.S. to do the things, and then, second, to find myself the opportunities so I could get through my list.

There were less than 10 things on the list and none were earth shattering or world changing. Looking back on them now, they remind me of how curious I was about this place that I was going to invite into my life. You know how you'd research a place you're visiting for the first time? The things you end up wanting to experience are sometimes totally outside of the main attractions recommended in the brochure.

One of the things I wanted to do was to pick apples off an apple tree. It was such a huge fascination for me to think I could pluck it off a tree, do the obligatory rub of the fruit on my shirt for good measure and then ... sink my teeth into the fruit and take a huge bite off of something that, only seconds ago, was part of the life force that it came from.

Somehow, it felt so quintessentially American. (Baking an apple pie -- from scratch, mind you, not a frozen one shipped from the U.S. -- was somewhere on the list, too). I think I felt like if I did that, and the other nine things on my list, I would have fully sampled the American life during my short visit.

The three years I thought I had to accomplish my list has now extended to more than 20. And, through the years, my fascination has only deepened with the personal awareness I now have gained about this country. Yesterday, I visited the fruit farm where I had gone to do my first apple picking. This time it wasn't just any apple, but specifically the Honeycrisp that I wanted to include into my experience.

But, we were too late. The Honeycrisp fans had showed up early the morning before and the Honeycrisp trees in the orchard were bare. I was beyond disappointed. I hovered around the baskets of Honeycrisp apples, picked by the staff earlier that week, and conceded that they will just have to do. But with a resolve, too, to keep my eye out for the Jonathons and the Fujis ... later on this season.

Because there is the luxury of a 'later on' for me now. I don't have to do the cursory checking off my list or skim the surfaces of experiences. I have the chance to stay awhile, to enjoy the sumptuousness of this beautiful place I now call home.

Now, I get to live my list, not just do them.

Thanks to a pleasingly crisp sweet-tart fruit, and the more solemn observance of flags flying gallantly at half mast this weekend, I am reminded of the abundance of time, experiences and opportunities I'm blessed with.

As always, I am humbled. And very, very grateful.

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Just a quick note: As you have gathered, I haven't been making daily entries to my blog. I'm trying to figure out what that sweet spot is between maintaining a habit and not making it yet another task I have to do. I'm determined to at least write every other day but I'm finding that I actually miss the rigor of the practice when I do that.

If it would help, you could subscribe to Grounding Words -- I hear it sends you an e-mail each time the blog is updated. Just a thought. Thanks for continuing to stop by -- I would love to hear your thoughts. If you'd prefer, you're welcome to send me a note at satori_1962@yahoo.com.