I remember the moment clearly. I had my infant baby girl in my arms that first night she spent her life outside of me. The 18 hours of back labor pains, the bustling of antiseptic maternity nurses in and out of my body, the animation of well-intentioned relatives, the C-section and the pain seeping through the weakening periphery of epidural -- the funneling of all things had brought me to that one moment -- the stillness of time where she and I were alone, for the very first time.
She had been crying, upset at how her once comfortable world had been literally ruptured beyond her infant understanding. I was terrified, scared that I had done that to her without knowing exactly how I plan to make it up to her. But, somehow -- call it intuition, the energy of our skin touching -- she and I connected.
I tried to turn theory into practice but all knowledge I picked up from books and Lamaze class had disintegrated. I already know this, my intuition told me, as I brought her body up against mine. She reciprocated and drew in to me. We reunited. That moment sealed for us the beginning of an evolving symbiotic relationship that has nourished us for the past 16 years.
That moment, 16 years ago today, the mother in me was born.
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Reiki update:
I was able to do a 45-minute self treatment in the morning before I got out of bed. My centering and grounding is getting a little better. I think.
How beautful.
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