Day 5: A game

It's amazing why we do the things we do.

It's 10 p.m., and all I want to do is to go to bed but I feel compelled to post an entry. Can't mess up so early in the game. About a week ago, I would be watching tv about now until I hit comatose, get to bed and then wake up the next day, week, month wondering why I never have time to write. I would be woefully longing but superficially content and that, of course, wasn't quite good enough. I had to set up a structure -- a game -- to force myself to write. Like I didn't have enough guilt.

So now, I am cranky and tired, but hey, I'm writing. (Boy, do I need a Reiki treatment). Is it really worth the effort? Is the discipline to keep practicing the craft worth the while? If words exist only in the mindscape of an author, written in virtual space, would they still have meaning?

Perhaps not. But I'm hopeful that at the end of the 21 days, my accomplishment would not so much be the number of people who've read my posts but that I have written and practiced Reiki for three weeks straight. That I might shed the weight of perfectionism my mind is putting on my writing, for the lightness of 'this is good enough.' Why, I might even crave the comfort of a routine.

Until then, count on a good fight from Ms. Resistance.

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Reiki update:

Half hour in the morning. Going strong ...